Lifestyle

Ambition

Who redesigns their blogs, gives all these promises of a high quality change, then disappears for three weeks? Me. I have just been so ridiculously busy. Most of my time these days is spent in the library until ridiculous hours, working on society related things or just trying to maintain a social life. Right now in my uni a lot of elections are taking place; my society’s elections will be happening next week, and it has made me feel quite nostalgic…

This year I have been involved in one society called Women in Business, as head of marketing, I’ve also been a student brand ambassador for The Economist, and have taken up mentoring for teenagers in a secondary school in Essex. With these roles coming to an end, I’ve been mulling over what I could possibly be involved in next year, and have looked into getting involved in my university’s newspaper’s blog; that got me reflecting over the days I would sit at my computer, open up wordpress, and just write. Whether it was in year nine, where I’d write about school gossip, or in year twelve where I was telling people about quitting my first job, it was always very therapeutic to just sit down and say whatever I wanted on my blog. And I want to start doing those type of reflective, chatty posts again.

I’d say I’m quite an ambitious person. I’ve always said that I don’t want to spend my whole life working for someone else, and one day want to own my own business. Whether that be to do with finance, consulting or even related to this blog, it’s going to happen. But recently, I feel as though I’ve lost the drive that comes with that ambition. Once upon a time I’d walk into every exam with a clear view in my mind that I was there for 100%, when I didn’t see any A*s on my grades list at A-Levels, the look on my face would’ve had you thinking I’d failed. I applied for head girl in sixth form, even though I was scared as shiz, just because something in me reminded me that I can’t let fear stop me from doing what I wanted to do.

But now, I don’t have that same – I’m going to absolutely destroy this exam feeling as I used to (at least I didn’t during my first year exams), when I got my 2:1 in first year, I was more than happy. And I definitely let fear stop me from applying for a few committee positions here and there in first year. I wouldn’t say it’s completely gone, I still joined a committee and applied for roles I never thought I would get, that I did get, but I feel like there’s so much more I could’ve done. I’m working now on trying to get my drive that I used to have back, and going above and beyond that. The first thing on my list is trying to revive a society that pretty much died this year, called Young Leaders.

My next post will be Mother’s Day related and in collaboration with Lands’ End, so definitely keep a look out for that. Hopefully I can get myself organised and get back to updating this blog.

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