As a blogger, I tend to share a lot of my life online. If you’re a regular reader – you probably know what I studied and where, what I do as a living, where I’m based and just generally what I’m up to at the moment, because that’s typically what you share when you choose to put your life out there as a creator. But today I’m going to delve just a litttleee bit deeper, and reveal a few things that I’m pretty sure you don’t already know about me…
Pree-er, stalker, call it what you like, I do it! Literally, tell me that guy X is talking to girl Y and I will be able to find for you her Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and even a cheeky YouTube video that she uploaded years ago and never thought anyone would find. I either don’t stalk at all, or I just wake up one day and wonder what my best friend from 12 years ago is getting up to… then before I know it I’ve ended up stalking that girl’s whole online life. It’s weird because I wouldn’t even call myself very nosy – leave your phone or anything personal around me and I would never sieve through it, I’m a bit of a ‘curiosity killed the cat’ kind of girl when it comes to private things. If the information is public, I can’t help but be a little nosy – sometimes it just gets out of hand and I can end up stalking my old friend’s, ex boyfriend’s, new girlfriend… it’s that deep.
And… I’ve done it a good few times before. I’m definitely not one of those people that brags about ‘cutting people out of my life’, because I don’t like cutting people out of my life. But, for the year and a half now, if I’ve been able to see that a friend isn’t a good friend, I’ve not lost one breath over deciding to wash my hands with them completely. This all started when I fell out with someone who I literally thought was my best-friend-soulmate during uni. From then, I’ve just been a bit more warh as to who I consider a ‘close friend’, and I’ve realised there’s nothing wrong with having a few people that are just acquaintances. People can get jealous, people can get mean, people can get irrational – not everyone wants the best for you like your loved ones do. I do, without a doubt, have some absolutely amazing close friends in my life! But I have more recently been able to spot a few friends that are maybe selfish or a little bit snakey, and had no qualms over throwing the towel in on those friendships.
I’m a Pisces – I’m emotional. I cry over everything – I cry over movies, I cry over TV programs, I cry when I’m happy, I cry when I’m sad, I cry when I’m stressed. I even cry just when I see other people crying. People are generally surprised to hear me admit this to them because no one ever sees me cry (other than my boyfriend, and seemingly more recently my dad is able to sense it in my voice over the phone, oops…). I’m usually able to keep in on the down low – blink those tears away, pat them dry with a tissue, then smile and you won’t even sense a thing. But just know that behind the scenes – it’s often a different story.
If you could hear the thoughts that go through my head sometimes, you might think I’m crazy. I guess you’d call it more paranoid. If a motorbike may be driving too close to the pavement, I think damn… am I about to get run over? If I’m driving and start sneezing heavily I think crap… what if I lose control and skid out of the road. And boy, don’t even get my started on plane turbulence. If you’re like me, and tend to over think and worry a lot, this this probably hits home for you. The weirdest thing is, this is something that has only started happening over the past two years, I used to not care about anything, ‘paranoia’ was not even a word in my vocabulary. So, I’m not too sure if this is serious or it’s just because I’m getting older and more cautious of the dangers around me (I just so happen to make up my own dangers sometimes).
I’ve always loved writing, so when I was really young (maybe around 10 or even younger), my mum started buying me diaries to write in. I’d write in them every night before bed and in them I’d write everything, I’d write about my best friends, my cousins, my crushes, school drama – everything and anything went into those diaries. This is probably to be expected by someone quite young, but actually, I continued to do this into my late teens, I just started writing things up on my laptop instead – and I still have the document I used to write in. I think I reached a certain point in my teens where I felt like I needed to just reinvent myself and my life, so I started keeping this laptop-diary just to track my progress, and then before you know itI was writing everything in there about anything I was up to. I don’t write in it anymore, I guess nothing lasts forever and I just have no desire to really keep it updated, my life is also not dramatic enough these days to even write about, but it’s definitely funny to look back on sometimes and reminisce on how I’ve grown, and who knows… maybe I’ll write in there again one day.
This is a fact that my friends, my family and boyfriend definitely know about me – I am so ditzy. One of my missions in life is just to never let people clock onto how ditzy I am. You wouldn’t imagine it as when it comes to being book smart, I generally do alright, and if it comes to knowing a about whats happening in the news, I can tell you that too. But sometime when it comes to general knowledge – I’m the worst. On Friday, when watching The Matrix (for the first time) with my boyfriend, I asked him if the main character was called Luke Skywalker. For those who are as ditzy as me… Luke Skywalker is from the Star Wars films (which I also coincidentally havr never watched), the name I was actually looking for was ‘Neo’. Enough said…
I also cry, but the point that drew my attention was the one about cutting a bad friend… I had problems doing that, and this year, after 5 years of a bad friendship, I could finally detach myself from the person, though sill not 100%. But I should, because she was and is really a very bad frenemy. I loved your post, need to learn from you! Hope you have a lovely week!
Hahaha I’m right with you in the unnecessary crying category!