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These Are The Rules I Live By…

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We all have views that totally anchor our beliefs and how we choose to live our lives. That are somehow ingrained in us and hard for us to allow someone to argue against. For many that is religion – the kind of thing where nobody can tell you nuthin’ that could possibly shift your thinking. For some – it’s their diet. Perhaps you think consuming any sort of animal product is wrong, maybe it’s just pork or beef you think really ain’t it. Whatever it is, your beliefs that support this are some sort of pillars within you. These are more serious examples of course – it can also be quite trivial and very simple; for example, I met a woman the other day that told me she has never, and will never, split a bill with a man. As such… this blog post wrote itself up in my mind one day as I walked to work. What are the philosophies I live by?

I don’t do “diets”

This is one I stick to quite religiously as I’ve had too many bad experiences with poor, unhealthy and short term diets. Indeed, before I turned my cards over to a life with Health & Fitness being very important, being “healthy” to me was just… not really eating. I’ve tried a lot… restricting my diet to <1,000 cals a day, cutting out carbs, cutting out fats. I’ve never quite fallen into the traps of juice diets and skinny tees (although, have definitely come close), and I guess I had trialed cutting out carbs before “keto” became as popular as it is today. But… these just never lasted. I would, within a few weeks no doubt, find myself back in a cycle of snacking on fatty crisps, and eating burgers regularly, and then suddenly wondering “huh? How did I end up back here?” I am a true advocate for “sustainability” – I wouldn’t say I’m the healthiest and cleanest eater in the world but at the same time… I really don’t eat too badly. There are few things I love as passionately as food and so it’s one thing I always want to keep enjoyable.

I believe there’s no clean route to success (and long term outweighs the short term)

When I went to the LSE (one of the best three years of my life, sigh), I can’t say I didn’t become somewhat short sighted and just a bit close minded. At LSE you’re taught (by those around you really), that life should go a certain way – you get your internship at a high flying, well-known corporate firm, you secure your job offer, collect your pretty salary and that’s it – you’ve made it, at the ripe old age of 21! (whatever “it” is…) And, well, if you didn’t do this? You’d probably done something wrong. I’d say maybe up until my third year I thought this too. But it’s in my third year that I started to become a lot more open minded. I learned i) despite what you may learn from a traditional background and/or household, the university to corporate lifestyle isn’t the only lifestyle that constitutes as “successful”, ii) people’s journeys differ… so it’s best to focus on your own! and iii) a long term view matters – whilst you can’t predict or plan the future, and whilst it’s good sometimes just to live each day as it comes, occasionally the long term view serves it’s own purpose (for example vs. the short term “get money quick” view).

I think you should do what you want (as much as you can)

Let’s be frank – everybody has different levels of privilege that they’re born into. And whilst the narrative of “quit your job and go and live your dreamZZzz” is so rife right now in social media – it’s not always the viable option for everyone. I also don’t think a corporate career is at all bad, as social media will also have you sometimes believe (you work 9-5?! Whatta corporate slave you are!) That said, I do think it’s important for us to always work towards pursuing what we want, whether that’s at a desk looking to your boss for guidance, in your room making a career for yourself my leveraging off social media, maybe it’s even both… or in a multitude of other things. So – if you want to start a blog (for example), or a podcast, or a business, just… start it. Do what you can afford to (monetarily and lifestyle-aterily (yep, I made up my own word)), and fine tune things over time. Be sensible with your choices. I’ve heard that often when people approach passing away, they start to regret the things they never tried, so I’m a big believer in working towards what you can, if you can, whilst you can.

“”Cancelled culture” – someone annoys you a little bit and you decide to totally write them out of your life. I’ve never really thought it was by force to drop someone out of your life because they’ve upset you one or two times.”

I don’t do “cancelled culture”

…But… sometimes it’s necessary.

“Cancelled culture” – someone annoys you a little bit and you decide to totally write them out of your life. I’ve never really thought it was by force to drop someone out of your life because they’ve upset you one or two times, I value the important relationships in my life and don’t want to be overly petty. That said, I think there’s a line to draw. There are a few qualities that have forced me to just throw the towel in silently on friendships before – for example, I realllllyyy can’t deal with unreliable people. Being late sometimes, eh that’s fine (can’t say that I myself am perfect here). Cancelling plans sometimes, okay, we can move on. But when you combine these things, 10x them, and I know that I can’t count on you for anything – then what’s the point? I’ve actually decided to stop talking to someone I was friends with because of this, and til today we only ever send each other a yearly “happy birthday” if even that. I made the right decision – if even for my own sanity and time. Other pet peeves of mine include extreme immaturity, or ya know… just hatefulness and bitchiness. Aside from that, I’m not one to “leave people in 2018” or “cancel” everyone (nobody is perfect); if you are you’d probably very quickly find yourself with no friends at all.

I’m a very big believer that growth must happen outside of your comfort zone

I’ve never really achieved a whole lot by totally staying inside my comfort zone. Even blogging and social media – believe it or not – is pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Anyone can read this (that knows me), and learn a little extra about how I think and the things I’m dealing with. Actually, often people I know come up to me and say they’ve read my blog and I always wonder hmm… what did they read?! Side note and PSA to all bloggers – your employers are watching/reading too… hey guis! Even when I decided I was done with being shy – man, that was a really fake it til you make it I feel really uncomfortable journey (that I still feel like I’m on sometimes!) Perhaps strangely… I kind of like this kick. Not always, but sometimes. For example, the other day I was all of a sudden thrown under a bus and had to lead a call with a client, lawyers and auditors present; I was a bit nervous but after I had done it I felt sort of good and I felt just 1/4th of the kick I get after a good workout… I sort of liked it (but then again that doesn’t mean I want to be thrown under this bus again!) I think it’s because I know that through any out-of-comfort-zone situation, there has been, if even just a little bit, some personal growth and well – I’m all about some good self development!

Some other rules that I stand by…

  • I’m an advocate for spending for comfort (I can’t come a kill myself) and spending on experiences (I will never sweat to drop some Ps on a good holiday or genuinely good experience)
  • I’m not one who’s all about “proving myself” – it’s good for sure to toot your own horn sometimes (it’s likely that no one else will), but when you find yourself trying to prove something (constantly screaming to everyone that you’re great, screenshotting your food bill for social media), wellll… maybe then it’s time to sit back and ask yourself why you’re doing this? (I say this being someone who would always try and prove myself to others)
  • I think if you’re too nice you set yourself up to get trampled on. I’m yet to draw a conclusion here though – as it’s still something I’m working on combating (ehh – I’m getting there!)
  • I don’t believe in “blindly following” – gather your own research and form your own views, it’s not by force to follow the masses (or even just to follow those close to you)
Now it’s your turn… what are some life choices and beliefs that anchor you?

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One Response to "These Are The Rules I Live By…"

That was a really great post!
Well I definitely agree with living outside ones comfort zone and doing what brings you joy as much as possible. Hmmm what are the rules I live by….? I would say its important to go where your celebrated and not tolerated. Its ok if relationships/friendships dont work out but its no good to your growth if you continue to let people push boundaries or make you feel less than! Great post, has got me thinking! – x

Lavinya Royes – Fashion & Lifestyle Blog

February 24, 2019 at 21:37 Lavinya


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